Confidential to Sharron Angle

Sharron,

We are almost the same age and I know exactly what you mean about not being able to tell Mexicans and Asians apart. It's a shame thoughtless people are again mocking you for something that happens to so many of us!

Every Cinco de Mayo, I had been buying "Maria," my cleaning lady, one of those tequila-themed gift baskets the hispanics adore so much. It was only after 18 years in our household that I realized that "Maria" was actually a Filipina and not from Ecuador or wherever it is Mexicans come from. Turns out her name was "Maya Arulpragasam" or some danged jungle nonsense! How was I supposed to know? I always made the check out to "cash" anyway.

I needed to put an end to the confusion. I mean, who has an Asian housekeeper? And you know about American men of a certain age and Asian ladies. I fired her before she could run off with Marv and his pension.

So don't let the "lamestream" media get to you! It happens to all of us. Stay strong -- with Christine O'Donnell and Carl Paladino tanking, we need you to be the brave face of the Tea Party so you can repeal HEALTHCARES.