Wednesday, October 20, 2010

ActionAlert: My Letter to the DC Metro Subway System

Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority
Board of Directors
600 5th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20001

Dear WMATA Board of Directors:

I was recently visiting your “area” (not really a state since you can’t vote and -- Praise the Lord and Jason Chaffetz -- it’s going to stay that way) for an Important and Uplifting -- yet completely non-political -- Glenn Beck Event that was held on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial and I had the opportunity to use your “Metro” train system.

Now, technically, public transportation of any type is socialist, plain and simple, and makes the Baby Jesus weep his blue eyes out. But I just come off a double hip-replacement and stomach stapling, and, as long as I’m popping percocets like an Arizona beer heiress, Marv won’t let me near the Buick. (That incident at the farmer’s market didn’t help. Danged sticky gas pedals!)

So into your underground den of Stalinism I went.

I noted that the Metro stations in good (white) areas have cellular telephone access available freely and the more “urban” parts of town (IF you KNOW what I MEAN...) are -- according to your press release -- still “waiting” for this service to be connected. (Smart move. One must be subtle with racial matters these days.)

What with the political climate what it is--it seems as if simply standing up for the white race has become illegal! (First they came for Dr, Laura, and I said nothing!) Well! I am speaking up to thank you all for standing up for good, white, people across the area, from the concrete expanse of Arlington to the tasteful shopping districts of Bethesda, to whatever pockets of Silver Spring are actually inhabitable after dark.

It was with GREAT pleasure that I noted that areas where minorities are likely to travel/congregate in your underground train system are without internet access or cellular telephone service, while stations all the way out to Maryland and Virginia enjoy a full four bars of freedom. A hard-working accountant or fireman, on his way home from a long day of work, can check his Aol underground in Bethesda or listen to an Alex Jones podcast waiting in Arlington. But others, maybe “Black Panthers,” riding in Anacostia, Harlem, or other “less desirable” parts of town are STOPPED in their tracks from plotting voter fraud, breakdancing flash mobs, or voter fraud, at least while “wilding” through the subway system, anyhow.

We know how dangerous the Black Panthers are -- it has been all over FOX news like B. HUSSEIN Obama on a golf vacation. BUT without a real-time connection to other dangerous, freedom-hating welfare radicals, they will be left to make those funny beatbox noises on the station platform and just call each other the “N-word” back and forth. We don't need universal underground wifi making the DC Metro system a second "underground railroad"...To paraphrase former Republican Leader Trent Lott,"we wouldn't have had all these problems over all these years" if there wasn't wifi on the FIRST Underground Railroad!

In these downright frightening times of rampant wealth re-distribution, health insurance, and terror-mosques, it’s good to know that you people there at the Metro system are quietly turning the dial towards our way of life, in a small but important way that may actually prevent another violent reparations uprising. Together, we can make these subway blacks stick to braiding each others hair and stay out of the internet and community organizing! Obviously, I don’t mean that in the racist sense.

Together against “Dark Forces”--IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN...

Mrs. Marvin (Elizabeth) McCoochey

1 Timothy 2:12:

But I suffer not a woman to teach nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.