Saturday, October 16, 2010

Target Fights for Traditional Families!

Have you heard that the Target Corp is donating big bucks to the GOP this election season? $150,000 so far! I decided to write them a letter saying "Thank You!"
From the Desk of Marvin & Betsy McCoochey

Subject: THANK YOU!
Target Corporation
Denise May, Assistant to the CEO

Dear Target:


My husband of 48 years, Marvin McCoochey, always said that your red bulls eye logo was the mark of the beast 666, but I disagreed, breaking my covenant with the Lord to obey my husband (you should at least send me a 20% off coupon for that!). I said, “Marv -- Why would any store not honoring the Lord our God bother calling their private-label product ‘Up and Up’?”

But that is neither here nor there, you see, because today I am writing to you good people to THANK YOU for doing your part to stop the
HOMOSEXUALIZATION OF AMERICA!!! One frozen pizza or plus-sized stretch negligee at a time.

Believe it or not, some people sleep peacefully at night, not knowing that there is a PERVASIVE GAY AGENDA, barreling towards our families like a chisel-chested Armageddon, a smartly-dressed thief in the night, limp-wristedly stealing our freedoms and making our own Christian sons renounce their upbringing and move to San Francisco to work for a non-profit!

The masses may be content to “live and let live” or “not pound them into fag-patties” but Target, like my own family (except for my boy Duwayne, we pray for him nightly) stands STRONG AND HARD against a future where our children will be taught--in school--about what those muscle-man ads in the back of the newspaper are for. Tops are spinning amusements and bottoms are pants--end of story !

If more good and wholesome companies donated their funds to conservative causes like you folks at Target--we could not just keep the homosexualist corn-holers at bay, we could drive them back down on their knees and into the loving arms of Christ himself.

Just as our rally cry is LIVE FREE OR DIE we will show them LIVE STRAIGHT OR DIE. Thank the Lord the good folks at Target recognize that our way of life as a God-fearing, man-on-woman, white majority is under siege! Your donation of $150,000 has perhaps even inspired Senator Saxby Chambliss’ staff to heed the call as well!

Perhaps a flaming Armageddon could still come to our Great Nation -- carrying a set of ball gags and draped in 85-threadcount sheets parading last nights santorum -- in spite of Target Corp’s $150k. But you good people deserve some of the credit for beating off the democratic horde assembling at the gates of a future homoerotic hell! The big, red, bulls eye of Target is aimed squarely at the America-hating backsides of liberals, homos, and those effeminate climate-change jihad-o-ricans this November!

I'll tell you what -- the Target Corporation can count on two solid, red, Republican votes in the McCoochey household that didn’t cost the company a dime -- even my husband Marv is involved in getting out the vote this election season! I overheard him whispering something about a fellow named “Dirty Sanchez” on the telephone. He must have been phone banking for that nice sheriff in Arizona. He shouldn’t be so bashful about it--2010 is the year for people like us--people like Target!

All the Best,

Mr. & Mrs. McCoochey
Readers: What do you think about Target's support of anti-homo GOP candidates? Please comment below