Sunday, October 17, 2010

Family Values Under Assault in the Air

It seems that my suspicions are being confirmed today that the war on our Christian Majority has now defied not only God's law but also gravity, with the announcement of a new passenger class on select airlines which will allow everyone from unmarried couples and random gay leather-men to illegal aliens and the French to grind their bodies together unchecked in sinful semi-privacy.

Known to Air New Zealand as "cuddle-class" and to those of us in the Family Values community as, "Highway Rest Stop Class" this new seating configuration will allow spreading out over three seats to accomodate wider girths and to allow already-low moral standards the space in which to continue to plummet like demand for McMansions in the Tampa suburbs.

Regular readers here will know that dry-humping in mid-air isn't commonly recognized as a sign of an impending Judgement Day the way seas running red, plagues of weevils or Health Care Reform is. But nonetheless, I say it's another workaday example of our modest Christian way of life being attacked by the Godless left.

Not one to just sit back and wait for the Rapture, I called Air New Zealand and inquired if they also have plans for a Sharia Mexican Class in the works. Or maybe a special section for Obamacare recipients on their way to their Death Panel appointment? I'm still waiting on a call back but you readers will be the FIRST to know!

Call them yourselves, folks! 1-800-262-1234 is the number. Report in the comments what kind of a response you get.